Steve Boyd Presentations

Have Fun with Words

I recently spent several days in London and Northern Ireland.  Even though English is the major language in both countries, many words have different meanings and some expressions, although they are words you know, have meanings that are different from in the United States.  For example, a pharmacist is a “dispensing chemist”, exit is a “way out,” and French fries are “chips.”  Trash is “rubbish,” a trunk of a car is a “boot,” an elevator is a “lift,” candy is “sweeties,” and athletic shoes are “trainers.”  And the list goes on and on. 

This experience made me think of some of the language challenges we have in our own country. For example, when I lived in Boone, North Carolina, mountain people had several different meanings for the word “poke.”   In that geographical region, poke was a type of greens you could fry and with proper seasoning make a tasty side dish.  A poke was a sack to carry your lunch in.  A poke was the front part of a sun bonnet that elderly women would wear.  Then there is the common meaning, as to poke someone with a stick. 

Here in Cincinnati, the word “please” means “I didn’t understand” or “Would you repeat what you said?”  In my home area of Southern Indiana, “please” was simply a proper way to ask a favor of someone. 

Don’t assume a word has only one meaning.  Engage others in a friendly discussion about the multiple meanings of certain words.  See how many meanings you can list for a particular word.  A good word to start this exercise might be “strike.”  Another is “fast.” What other words have multiple meanings? 

Listen, Ask, Listen Again

The words in the title of this piece are part of key training skills Delta Airlines is using to send 11,000 agents back to school, according to a recent article in the Wall Street Journal.  Another  training skill  stressed is "be there."  This is another way of saying, pay attention to your customer!  Why are these skills being taught?  Because among major airlines this past year, Delta had the highest rate of customer complaints. 

            One of the points I stress in each listening seminar and in my keynote, “Be Present When You Are Present,” is the importance of listening and paying attention to the bottom line in any situation.  Many companies have similar products and cost.  The competitive edge, as Delta knows, is that customer service is based on these people skills of listening and attention.  On my website, I even offer wallet cards with reminders of “How to Keep Listening Instead of Talking.”

            If these skills are at the crux of profit and loss in a company, think how important listening and attention are in day-to-day living!  As Henry David Thoreau said, "The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when one asked me what I thought and attended to my answer." 

Making the Day Better

In exploring Chillicothe a few weeks ago, we found the studio of graphic designer Dard Hunter. Among his many works, including his beautifully printed books, was this quotation from him:   "If I had life to live over, I would carry on exactly the same as I have done during my entire life, with one exception. In printing books I would try to print them better." 

That philosophy of making every day a quality day and every task a quality job can be applied in many ways. Don't just get through the day; make each day a special event. Be aware of what is happening around you. Pay attention to detail.

In the summer, don't just see the hummingbirds, but watch the two around the feeder compete for air space.

In January, don't just notice the bare branches on trees next to the interstate but watch for the red-tailed hawk sitting on the post waiting for his prey on the ground below. You may recall that I told about this in my February 10 blog post.

Focus on the unusual. On Halloween take a walk down the street to look for the unique costumes such as the adult dressed as Mother Teresa or the baby dressed as a bag of popcorn.

Go to an assisted living facility and ask at the desk for a patient who rarely receives a visit and go visit that person.

Humor writer and philosopher Erma Bombeck expressed her view of a quality day by writing,  "If I had my life to live over,  I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth....I would have cried and laughed less while watching television—and more while watching life." You can read her entire piece at http://www.kalimunro.com/If_I_Had_My_Life_To_Live_Over.html.

 

There Is a Cow in the Street

After spending a few days in Sri Lanka last month, I was reminded of how much we get used to looking for things in a certain context.  For example, in driving the interstates in middle America you expect to see cows in a field along the roadside.  However, in Colombo, Sri Lanka, a city of almost a million, you will occasionally see a cow on a busy street with cars and buses passing by.  The scene is part of the landscape.

    When we encountered roads under construction in Sri Lanka—always a needed project!—there would not be our usual person at each end with a sign telling us when to stop or when it was safe to go around. Instead, we just eased around and hoped for the best. One common factor, however, in road construction crews was that there were always several men standing around doing nothing.

    We get used to well-lighted streets and sidewalks generally clear of rubbish.  But this is not the case in Sri Lanka and many other countries. 

    When traveling in other parts of the world, don't be surprised at the unexpected; don't assume that you will experience the same conveniences that we have in this country. And when in this country, I’m finding myself more tolerant of what I previously considered inconveniences. 

 

Catching Cultural Cues

We just got back from a month in Southeast Asia—more specifically, Malaysia and Sri Lanka. My interest in communication made me very aware of communicating well when in a different culture with a limited number of people who spoke English. Here are some elements which caused me to be more alert, and sometimes embarrassed, because of differences in culture.

I would forget to remove my shoes when I entered a home or church. Stopping to leave my shoes outside the door is not my usual routine.

I was especially chagrined when I found out too late that in handing out certificates you shake hands with the right hand and then hand the certificate to the recipient with both hands. The “Kodak moment” was a little awkward.

I learned not to overreact when I saw monkeys running everywhere just as squirrels do in our area of the U. S. Monkeys are a normal part of the surroundings in both countries.

I learned not to become frustrated when at a restaurant the server did not bring the bill.  I discovered that I must ask for the bill. They consider it rude to bring the bill before you request it.

I often couldn’t find trash containers at convenient locations; there just are not many available (except in Singapore, which is surely the world’s cleanest city.) The same is true for napkins at any table—at a home or at a restaurant. I ate a little more carefully, and we often carried our own napkins to use inconspicuously when needed.

I managed to control my emotions when drivers did not give pedestrians the right of way. Crossing the street often took me longer once I realized that crosswalks were merely suggestions. I had to be more aware of traffic in areas where there were moving vehicles, for there it was definitely a case of “might makes right.” Both drivers and pedestrians are much more aggressive than in the United States. There is an “every person for themselves” attitude on the highways.

What can you do to fit in when visiting in other countries?  Here are some suggestions. Observe before acting. Watch how natives do everything—not just things you are uncertain about. Don’t be condescending, but speak deliberately rather than in our usual American way. “Howwuz your weekend?” might bring a puzzled look, whereas “How  was  your  weekend?” might produce an intelligible answer. Smile when asking directions or seeking information nonverbally. Accept the fact that there may be some hostility toward Americans. One cab driver announced when we got in the car that he did not like Westerners. “Go with the flow” and “don’t make waves” when interacting with people.

Avoid standing out in a group. Don’t stare at unusual dress or look lost (even though you may be). Take some time before you leave the room to anticipate needs that might arise, such as finding a cab at an appropriate place. Eat the food the natives eat. If you go to an ethnic restaurant, don’t order a hamburger; look for a dish with the most appealing ingredients and order that. Wear clothing that blends in. Modest dress is especially important considering some religious rules about clothing.

Finally, take your passport everywhere!  You may be asked for it even when purchasing a ticket to an event.

Embrace the culture of the country you are visiting. When you come home, you will be more tolerant of differences in languages, dress, and actions since you’ve experienced being the one that is different. As Mahatma Gandhi said, “No culture can live if it attempts to be exclusive.” 

Stephen D. Boyd, Ph.D., CSP, is Professor of Speech Communication, College of Informatics, Northern Kentucky University, near Cincinnati. He presents keynotes and seminars to corporations and associations whose people want to speak and listen effectively. See additional articles and resources at www.sboyd.com. To book Steve, call 800-727-6520 or email him through his website.